Cultivating Recommendations

About a decade ago I asked one of my favorite former professors to write a letter of recommendation for an application I was really excited about…and he refused. 

“I don’t know you well enough,” he explained before driving the dagger a little deeper: “…and that’s your fault.” 

I felt slapped. This was a dude I’d studied with for two years, with whom I’d laughed, cried, danced, drunk two-buck Chuck, and had conversations that continue to shape the work I make today, and he didn’t know me?? 

But then I realized that he had a point. We hadn’t really spent time together since I graduated, mostly by my choice. Post-school I was depressed, stressed, and a mess; I figured I was shielding the people I cared about by avoiding them. I had continued to have valuable conversations with him, but entirely in my own head; oddly enough, he was unaware of these imaginary interactions. 

His refusal still stings, but more in a tough love, snap-out-it kind of way. It also helped me to realize that the process of securing recommendations is excellent practice for developing and maintaining good relationships of all kinds. Yes, you have to plant the seed, but you’ve also got to keep it fed and watered and weeded if you hope to come back and pick some fruit.

At its best, a recommendation reflects a relationship. The process of securing a strong recommendation starts earlier and lasts longer than you might assume.

• Consider the kind of opportunities you might be looking for in the next few years (employment, research projects, grants, freelance work, etc.) and list the skills and experience that would make you a strong candidate. 
• Be on the alert for people who witness you demonstrating the above skills or gaining the above experience. If possible some of these people should be peers and some should be experts (teachers, managers, etc.), but in either case they should be people you actually like and respect.
• Having established the relationship, begin the recommendation conversation: 
  • In theory, would this person be willing to recommend you for appropriate opportunities? If they say No, they are doing you a huge favor and you should be just as grateful as if they had said Yes! It’s better at any point to move on to another than to depend on a recommendation from someone who’s unenthusiastic about you, uncomfortable with writing, or unable to meet deadlines. 
  • If they agree: How much notice do they need? What’s their preferred contact method?
  • Snapshot your shared experience: some people will ask their potential recommender to jot down notes or even write a draft letter while their experience together is still fresh. It might be ok to do that with someone you know well, but in general it’s more respectful to take on this task yourself. Make note of: 
    • how you met this person (when, where, class title)
    • what details might jog their memory about which one of a dozen students you were
    • what skill/experience you demonstrated/gained in their presence
    • any positive comments (as verbatim as possible) they made about you or your work 
• ​Make a plan to stay in touch. If you have a mailing list or newsletter, ask if you can add them. 
• Capture all this info in a spreadsheet. 
• Follow through on your continuing contact plan. 
• When you find an opportunity that you are definitely going to apply for, contact your potential recommender right away, giving them at least as much notice as they asked for. 
  • Remind them of who you are and how you know each other. 
  • Supply the details: 
    • the format of the recommendation (an email? a paper letter? a phone conversation?)
    • paste in the section of the application form that describes what the recommendation should cover
    • a brief overview of your proposal
    • the deadline
    • the name of the opportunity
    • Make it easy for them! Offer to provide: 
      • ​any additional information they would find helpful 
      • a draft letter of recommendation (that they can edit or use as a starting point for their own letter)
      • a list of “talking points” (facts or personal qualities that prove you are a qualified and outstanding candidate)
      • a draft of your proposal (as soon as possible)
      • Let them know whether or not you would see the contents of the recommendation (this is less common now, but sometimes recommendations still come to you to be submitted in one big application packet, and your recommender should know whether what they are saying is confidential or not). If they request a draft letter of recommendation, emphasize your relevant qualities and qualifications, be positive but not over the top, and try to write in a neutral voice. 
• Use the application portal or application manager to monitor recommendation submissions. If necessary, remind your recommender around the day that they indicated as being their minimum turnaround time, and again a week before the deadline. 
• Write your recommender a thank you note after they submit. 
• When you hear the results of your application, share the news with your recommender and thank them again—no matter what the result. (By the time you hear back from one application you may be two or three applications down the road, so a spreadsheet can be another great way to record who supplied your recommendation, and to remind yourself to follow up with them.)
• Pay it forward or pay it back. Be ready if a peer recommender asks you to write a recommendation in return. Get excited if another artist asks you for an “expert” recommendation!

Is this a lot of work? Good heavens, yes! Do letters of recommendation really matter? Not always. But let’s imagine you’ve written a bang-up proposal and are neck-in-neck with another strong applicant: suddenly your supporting materials start to carry more weight. A recommendation that’s substantive, detailed, personal, and enthusiastic can nudge your application over the finish line. 

Even more importantly, the recommendation process can create wins from failures. Remember I suggested that your recommender should be a person you like and respect? That’s what makes the recommendation process itself a means of growing your community and making professional progress. Even if an application is rejected, your recommender knows that you went for it and their minds have already started to test-fit you for similar opportunities. Ultimately, a good recommender holds a stake in your growth and success. 

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