2021
Museum of Art and Design Virtual Artist-in-Residence Jake Rusher Park Public Art Project World Wood Day 2020 2 + U 2nd Ave Lobby World Wood Day City of Issaquah Tibbetts Valley Off-Leash Dog Park City of Durham Pre-Qualified Artist Registry BASE Cohort Bothell Fire Station 42 Artist Trust Fellowship South King County Recycling Center Harris Building Interior Art Tokyo Biennial Haystack Open Studio Residency Jacksonville Medical Lobby Sculptural Installation 2019 World Wood Day Artist Designed Infrastructure Bioretention Edition Seattle Metals Guild Grant 2018 Jakob Bengel Residency 2017 Shunpike/Amazon Residency AJF Grant Bloedel Residency Amara Mural Seattle Center Winterfest 2016 Bloedel Residency Olson Kundig Creative Exchange Jakob Bengel Residency 2015 Seattle Public Utilities Green Infrastructure and Waterways Artist-in-Residence Smithsonian Artist Research Fellowship Rome Prize Kohler Residency Artist Trust Fellowship Seattle Airport Concourse 2014 Artist Trust GAP Grant 2013 Artist Trust EDGE Program Houston Center for Craft Residency Appalachian Center for Craft Exhibition Artist Trust GAP Grant 2012 Artbridge Fellowship Artist Trust GAP Grant 2011 Henry Radford Hope School of Fine Arts PIVA 2009 McColl Residency Artbridge Fellowship A few times in my career, another artist has done me the tremendous kindness of pulling back the curtain on a truth that isn’t normally part of polite conversation. There was: the professional artist who spelled out how her pricing formula covers her economic bases and adds an emotional surcharge; the super-successful artist who spoke candidly about the mad paddling it took to keep all her ducks afloat; and the former peer group who listened to my struggles but admitted they couldn’t really identify because they had “married well.” I am so thankful to each of these artists! In each case their honesty and openness helped me to see my own situation with more patience and clarity. I’ve been thinking about these lessons even more frequently since I began to tell people about being a Penland Resident. There has been a tremendous amount of support and enthusiasm, but I’ve also heard and sensed some deflation from people who contrast my little spike of success with whatever’s going on for them. I can feel this deflation second-hand because I’ve so often felt it first-hand, the sense that opportunities are finite and not for me. I’d like to take a turn at pulling back the curtain, so that anyone inclined to comparisons at least has more to work with than the shiny surface of a public achievement. So I’m publishing a list of those times that I swung and missed. I think of it as a “shadow CV,” an inverse of my actual accomplishments without which those accomplishments would not exist. (If you do take a look at it anytime soon, note that I am working backwards through my records, so my shadow CV will continue to grow.) This is not false humility or self-deprecation. It isn’t a “poor me” ploy for sympathy. It’s not my version of “when I was your age I walked fifty miles to the studio and it was uphill both ways.” It isn’t sour grapes. These “failures” are their own kind of achievement and I’m proud of them. If you are also an artist or someone whose career revolves around rejection, there are some great reasons to keep a list of your unsuccessful efforts:
And if you have a shadow CV, there is a great reason to share it with others in your field, particularly those who are getting starting or those who are struggling:
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